Mitzvah —
613
Not to retain her for servitude after having relations with her
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פָּרָשַׁת כִּי־תֵצֵא
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:וְהָיָ֞ה אִם־לֹ֧א חָפַ֣צְתָּ בָּ֗הּ וְשִׁלַּחְתָּהּ֙ לְנַפְשָׁ֔הּ וּמָכֹ֥ר לֹֽא־תִמְכְּרֶ֖נָּה בַּכָּ֑סֶף לֹֽא־תִתְעַמֵּ֣ר בָּ֔הּ תַּ֖חַת אֲשֶׁ֥ר עִנִּיתָֽהּ
Deuteronomy 21:14
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"And it will be, if you do not desire her, then you shall send her away wherever she wishes, but you shall not sell her for money. You shall not keep her as a servant, because you have afflicted her."
This Mitzvah's Summary
מִצְוָה עֲשֵׂה - Positive Commandment
מִצְוָה לֹא תַעֲשֶׂה - Negative Commandment
War – מִלְחָמָה
A soldier who has taken a yefat to’ar (captive woman) and been with her may not keep her as a slave or servant; he must either marry her as a proper wife after the prescribed process or let her go free.
The Torah describes the exceptional case of the yefat to’ar, the non-Jewish woman taken captive in war, whom the soldier desires. After an initial, highly restricted relationship, the Torah obligates a full month of mourning, removal of adornments, and transition into his home, before any option of marriage.
Our mitzvah governs the end of that process: “And it shall be, if you no longer desire her, then you shall send her away wherever she wishes, but you shall not sell her for money; you shall not keep her as a servant, because you have afflicted her” (Devarim 21:14). Once he has been with her, he may not continue to treat her as property. She must either be received with full marital dignity after conversion, or released entirely, with no sale, no resale into slavery, and no ongoing servitude in his household.
Chazal frame yefat to’ar as “lo dibra Torah ela keneged yetzer hara” — the Torah speaks here only to contain the evil inclination. Rambam (Hilchot Melachim 8) codifies that all allowances are bedi’eved concessions to human weakness in wartime; nonetheless, once he has taken advantage of this concession, he bears a heightened obligation not to compound her degradation. Sefer HaChinuch explains that the Torah demands sensitivity to the vulnerability of the captive and forbids turning a woman who was compelled into a permanent household servant. The mitzvah thus limits the power of the victor and reasserts the captive’s human dignity.
Commentaries
Commentary & Classical Explanation
- Talmud (Kiddushin 21b): Describes yefat to’ar as a concession “against the yetzer hara,” not an ideal; the Torah prefers that the soldier restrain himself entirely.
- Talmud (Kiddushin 22a): Derives that after relations he may not sell her or keep her as a shifchah; “lo tit’amer bah” forbids treating her as merchandise or servitude.
- Rashi (Devarim 21:14): Explains “lo tit’amer bah” as “do not use her up” — no selling, no enslavement, because he already humbled her.
- Rambam (Hilchot Melachim 8:2–7): Rules that yefat to’ar is permitted only once, and if he no longer desires her he must release her freely; she may not remain a bondwoman.
- Ramban (Devarim 21:10–14): Emphasizes that the Torah foresees hatred and family tragedy emerging from this union and therefore circumscribes it sharply, insisting that her humiliation not be prolonged.
- Sefer HaChinuch (mitzvah on “lo tit’amer bah”): Stresses the ethical core — even where Torah tolerates a concession to passion, it forbids ongoing oppression of the vulnerable captive and trains Israel in compassion and restraint.
Contrast with Mitzvah 612 (Not to sell her into slavery)
- Mitzvah 612 bans selling the yefat to’ar to others; Mitzvah 613 forbids even keeping her for one’s own service — the prohibition extends beyond commerce to usage.
- 612 protects her from being traded as chattel; 613 insists she not remain in a degraded status at all once he has been with her.
- Together they form a fence: no sale outward, no servitude inward — only marriage with full kedushin or complete release.
Parallel with Mitzvot 504–510 (Laws of the Hebrew slave and his release)
- Just as a Hebrew eved must be treated with dignity and granted gifts upon release (509–510), so too the yefat to’ar cannot be kept as a perpetual servant; Torah channels power toward chesed and eventual freedom.
- Both frameworks re-educate masters: ownership is never absolute; human beings remain avdei Hashem, not avadim to other humans.
- The requirement to release her echoes the broader Torah pattern that servitude must have an endpoint and be accompanied by ethical responsibility to the one who served you.
(Source: Chabad.org)
Applying this Mitzvah Today
Wartime Ethics and Power
- This mitzvah demonstrates that even in the chaos of war, Torah restricts exploitation. Modern discussions of IDF conduct and military halachah draw on yefat to’ar as a paradigm: victory never licenses dehumanization or sexual violence.
Dignity After Harm
- The captive woman has already been afflicted; Torah forbids compounding that humiliation. In contemporary terms, this guides rabbanim and communities toward trauma-sensitive care for victims of war, abuse, or coercion, insisting on pathways to restored dignity rather than ongoing dependency.
Limits of Concession
- “Lo dibra Torah ela keneged yetzer hara” teaches that concessions to human weakness are tightly bounded. When a person has acted under a heter that reflects pressure or passion, halachah may later demand reparative behavior — here, refusing to turn that heter into a standing advantage over another’s life.
Models for Employers and Authority Figures
- While the precise case no longer applies, the pattern speaks to employers, rabbanim, and all authority figures: if someone has been in your power in a vulnerable moment, you may not leverage that history into long-term control. Ethical leadership means facilitating independence, not quiet servitude.
Conversion, Marriage, and Consent
- Yefat to’ar laws highlight the difference between technical permission and lechatchilah ideals. Contemporary poskim emphasize that geirus and marriage must be built on genuine consent and kavvanah, not on pressure. The captive’s ultimate right to leave underscores that a coerced bond lacks the kedushah Torah seeks.
Memory of Exile and Empathy
- Israel’s own history as avadim in Mitzrayim hovers over these laws. Remembering “ki avadim hayitem” should cultivate rachamim toward anyone whose autonomy has been curtailed — migrants, refugees, employees without power — pushing us to avoid structures that trap people in functional servitude.
Notes on this Mitzvah's Fundamentals
War – מִלְחָמָה
- Yefat to’ar situates halachah inside the brutal reality of war yet insists that even soldiers at the front are bound by norms of kedushah and self-control; Chazal’s “lo dibra Torah ela keneged yetzer hara” reframes military power as a battlefield for conquering the yetzer, not captives.
Slaves/Servants – עֲבָדִים
- By banning both sale and servitude after relations, this mitzvah undermines the assumption that captives are natural slaves, aligning with broader Torah limits on avdut that demand time-bounded service, humane treatment, and the constant awareness that all avadim are truly avdei Hashem.
Compassion – רַחֲמִים
- “Because you have afflicted her” becomes the moral engine of the law: having already caused her suffering, he may not continue to exploit her; Ramban and Sefer HaChinuch see in this language a demand for rachamim toward the vulnerable, even where earlier conduct was only begrudgingly tolerated.
Justice – צֶדֶק
- The prohibition establishes a form of restorative justice: the strong party who seized her loses the right to ongoing benefit and must restore her freedom, modeling the Torah’s insistence that power differentials never cancel din and that prior harm increases, rather than lessens, one’s obligations of fairness.
Family – מִשְׁפָּחָה
- Chazal’s linkage of yefat to’ar with the later parashiyot of the hated wife and wayward son shows how distorted beginnings poison family life; this mitzvah pushes the soldier either to elevate the relationship into a bona fide bayis ne’eman or to release her so that a household of ongoing resentment and misuse does not form.
Community – קְהִלָּה
- A community that tolerates household servitude born of coercion normalizes abuse; by outlawing such servitude in Israel, Torah signals that the tzibbur must protect the marginalized — converts, former captives, and dependents — and ensure that dark corners of family life conform to communal standards of kedushah and derech eretz.
Between a person and G-d – בֵּין אָדָם לַמָּקוֹם
- The tension between concession and ideal here is ultimately a question of avodat Hashem: will the soldier define his avodah by indulging the yetzer within the minimum halachic allowance, or by rising toward the Divine middah of compassion and restraint that the mitzvah implicitly demands.
Between a person and their fellow – בֵּין אָדָם לַחֲבֵרוֹ
- On the interpersonal plane, the mitzvah insists that no human being may be frozen forever in the role of “the one you once overpowered”; after the initial lapse, halachah obligates him to recognize her as a full tzelem Elokim with rights, choices, and the ability to leave.
Holiness – קְדֻשָּׁה
- Yefat to’ar exposes the danger of mixing ta’avah with kedushah; by forcing either full kiddushin or complete separation, the Torah prevents an ongoing, half-holy relationship and preserves the mikdash-like quality expected of a Jewish home, even when it began with moral compromise.
Covenant – בְּרִית
- The captive must either enter the bris of Israel properly, through conversion and marriage, or be released; she cannot remain a liminal quasi-object in a Jewish house, reinforcing that bris-relationships are built on commitment and responsibility, not on unilateral control.
Torah – תּוֹרָה
- The sugya of yefat to’ar in Kiddushin becomes a model of how Torah engages reality: it addresses human drives without romanticizing them, circumscribes their expression, and uses detailed halachah to educate character, teaching that Torah speaks to our worst moments precisely to refine them.
Faith – אֱמוּנָה
- Trust in Hashem includes trusting that true freedom and dignity, not domination, are the path of blessing; by renouncing the power to keep her as a servant, the soldier expresses emunah that parnassah, honor, and security come from Hashem, not from holding another human being in his grasp.
