21

Not to bear a grudge

The Luchos - Ten Commandments
מִצְוָה עֲשֵׂה - Positive Commandment
מִצְוָה לֹא תַעֲשֶׂה - Negative Commandment
Between a person and their fellow – בֵּין אָדָם לַחֲבֵרוֹ

We are forbidden from bearing a grudge, even if we don't take revenge. This means we remember the wrongdoing that the person did to us, and mention it to him.

This mitzvah forbids nursing resentment or keeping anger in one’s heart even without acting on it. Bearing a grudge corrodes relationships and contradicts the Torah’s vision of unity and forgiveness. Instead, the Torah teaches us to release anger, forgive others, and strengthen bonds of peace within the community.

Commentary & Classical Explanation:

  • Rambam (Hilchot De’ot 7:7): Gives the example: if someone refuses to lend you something, and later asks you for help, you must not say “I won’t be like you” — that is bearing a grudge.
  • Sefer HaChinuch (Mitzvah 242): The root is to train our hearts in humility and forgiveness, trusting Hashem to oversee justice.
  • Talmud (Yoma 23a): Links revenge and grudges, teaching that both stem from anger and are destructive to one’s soul.
(Source: Chabad.org)
לֹֽא־תִקֹּ֤ם וְלֹֽא־תִטֹּר֙ אֶת־בְּנֵ֣י עַמֶּ֔ךָ וְאָֽהַבְתָּ֥ לְרֵעֲךָ֖ כָּמ֑וֹךָ אֲנִ֖י יְהֹוָֽה׃ - פָּרָשַׁת קְדשִׁים
Leviticus 19:18 - "You shall neither take revenge from nor bear a grudge against the members of your people; you shall love your neighbor as yourself. I am the L-rd."

This Mitzvah's Fundamentals

Between a person and their fellow - בֵּין אָדָם לַחֲבֵרוֹ

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Encompasses mitzvot that govern ethical behavior, kindness, and justice in human relationships.

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Thought - מַחֲשָׁבָה

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Relates to internal intentions, beliefs, and mindfulness in performing mitzvot or avoiding transgressions.

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