Mitzvah —
17

Not to embarrass others

The Luchos - Ten Commandments

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פָּרָשַׁת קְדשִׁים
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לֹֽא־תִשְׂנָ֥א אֶת־אָחִ֖יךָ בִּלְבָבֶ֑ךָ הוֹכֵ֤חַ תּוֹכִ֙יחַ֙ אֶת־עֲמִיתֶ֔ךָ וְלֹא־תִשָּׂ֥א עָלָ֖יו חֵֽטְא׃
Leviticus 19:17
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"You shall not hate your brother in your heart. You shall surely rebuke your fellow, but you shall not bear a sin on his account."
Not to embarrass others

This Mitzvah's Summary

מִצְוָה עֲשֵׂה - Positive Commandment
מִצְוָה לֹא תַעֲשֶׂה - Negative Commandment
Between a person and their fellow – בֵּין אָדָם לַחֲבֵרוֹ

This mitzvah forbids shaming another person. Rooted in the Torah’s demand that rebuke and interpersonal correction never become humiliation.

The source of this mitzvah is drawn from the verse, “הוֹכֵחַ תּוֹכִיחַ אֶת עֲמִיתֶךָ, וְלֹא תִשָּׂא עָלָיו חֵטְא” — “You shall surely rebuke your fellow, and you shall not bear sin because of him” (Leviticus 19:17). Chazal and the Rishonim understand the closing phrase to include the prohibition against causing shame in the course of rebuke or interpersonal encounter. The Torah is therefore not satisfied with good intentions. Even when one means to correct, protest, expose wrongdoing, or state a truth, he may not degrade another person in the process.

On the halachic plane, the prohibition centers especially on הלבנת פנים — whitening another’s face through humiliation, particularly in public. Shame is not treated as a minor emotional discomfort. Torah recognizes it as a form of grave injury that strikes at a person’s dignity and social standing. The issur is not limited to formal rebuke. It extends to speech, gestures, exposure, ridicule, comparisons, or public framing that leave another person diminished before others.

Conceptually, this mitzvah protects כבוד הבריות — human dignity — within the covenantal life of Israel. A person is not merely a unit in a legal system. He stands before Hashem with a soul, a name, and a dignity that may not be casually broken. Torah therefore demands more than moral correctness. It demands that truth itself be carried in a way that does not trample the image of Hashem in another person.

Commentaries

(Source: Chabad.org)

Applying this Mitzvah Today

Applying this Mitzvah Today

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A person shaped by this mitzvah becomes more careful with power. Social life constantly creates small opportunities to elevate oneself through someone else’s discomfort — a cutting remark, a revealing story, a pointed correction, a joke that lands by making another person smaller. At first those moments often seem insignificant. Over time, however, a Torah-trained conscience begins to recognize that humiliation is rarely accidental. It usually comes from impatience, ego, irritation, or the desire to control a room.

That awareness creates inner structure. A person learns to pause before speaking in front of others, to weigh not only whether something is true, but whether another human being can carry it without being broken by it. Speech becomes more disciplined, not because honesty is being abandoned, but because dignity is being taken seriously.

Emotionally, this mitzvah refines how one holds the flaws of other people. There is often a temptation to expose quickly when one feels hurt, self-righteous, or superior. The Torah refuses that instinct. It forms a personality that can remain truthful without becoming cruel. In time, that changes the feel of relationships. Other people experience such a person as safer, less threatening, and more trustworthy. That itself is part of the mitzvah’s hidden power: it makes room for closeness without fear of degradation.

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Rambam & Sefer HaChinuch

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Rambam

  • Source: Mishneh Torah, Hilchos De’os 6:8
  • Rambam rules that one who rebukes another must not speak harshly until the other becomes ashamed, as the verse says, “and you shall not bear sin because of him.” His formulation is decisive because it anchors the prohibition within real human interaction. Even justified rebuke becomes sinful if it passes into humiliation. Rambam thereby defines the Torah’s boundary: truth may be spoken, correction may be given, but another person’s dignity may not be sacrificed in the process.

Sefer HaChinuch

  • Source: Sefer HaChinuch, mitzvah on rebuke and the prohibition of shaming
  • Sefer HaChinuch explains that the Torah forbids humiliating another person because shame is a deep and destructive injury. He emphasizes that one may not use rebuke as license for emotional violence. The Chinuch’s contribution is moral clarity: even when one’s goal is improvement, the method must remain governed by Torah, and Torah does not permit a person to destroy another’s spirit under the banner of righteousness.

Talmud & Midrash

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Gemara

  • Source: Bava Metzia 58b
  • Chazal state that one who embarrasses his fellow in public is compared to a shedder of blood. The image is severe and precise. The face drains, color changes, and the person stands exposed before others. The Gemara’s contribution is that humiliation is not a soft or peripheral wrong. Torah treats it as a grave interpersonal wound.

Gemara

  • Source: Arachin 16b
  • In the sugya of תוכחה — rebuke — Chazal grapple with the limits of correction and whether rebuke should continue even when it will not be received. Within that framework, it becomes clear that rebuke is not a free zone in which all verbal force is permitted. The mitzvah to correct another never erases the prohibition against degrading him.

Midrash

  • Source: Midrashic teachings on כבוד הבריות and the gravity of speech
  • Midrash repeatedly teaches that speech can either preserve the human form or deform it. In that light, public embarrassment is not merely an unpleasant social event. It is a misuse of the tongue that tears at the dignity with which Hashem created man.

Rishonim — Depth & Nuance

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Rashi

  • Source: Rashi to Leviticus 19:17
  • Rashi explains “ולא תשא עליו חטא” to mean that one should not embarrass the person while rebuking him. His local contribution is exact and practical. The pasuk itself teaches not only that rebuke is required, but that the form of rebuke is morally bounded.

Ramban

  • Source: Ramban to Leviticus 19:17
  • Ramban frames the mitzvah within the broader system of interpersonal integrity in Kedoshim. His nuance is that hatred, rebuke, and injury are all interrelated. A person who does not govern his inner hostility may use correction as an outlet for cruelty. The Torah therefore commands rebuke while simultaneously restraining the destructive energy that can hide within it.

Ibn Ezra

  • Source: Ibn Ezra to Leviticus 19:17
  • Ibn Ezra reads the pasuk with peshat discipline and keeps the focus on practical human interaction. His contribution is clarity: one may not turn the obligation to address wrong into permission to injure. Even where one must speak, he must speak within boundary.

Sforno

  • Source: Sforno to Leviticus 19:17
  • Sforno emphasizes that rebuke is meant for the other’s benefit, not as a vehicle for self-expression or retaliation. Once embarrassment enters, the purpose is already compromised. His nuance is therefore teleological: the moment humiliation becomes central, the act has ceased to function as genuine תוכחה.

Rabbeinu Bachya

  • Source: Rabbeinu Bachya to Leviticus 19:17
  • Rabbeinu Bachya highlights the inner damage caused by shaming another person. The offense is not only external or social. It enters the person’s inner world and leaves a wound that can endure long after the moment has passed. His reading deepens the human seriousness of the issur.

Abarbanel

  • Source: Abarbanel to Kedoshim
  • Abarbanel situates this mitzvah in the Torah’s larger effort to create a society of holiness rather than humiliation. His contribution is structural. A people cannot become holy if truth is delivered through degradation and moral life is built through public diminishment of one another.

Rishonim — Conceptual

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Kuzari

  • Source: Kuzari, on the dignity of the covenantal people and ordered human relation
  • The Kuzari’s broader framework sees Israel not as isolated individuals, but as a covenantal body whose members carry a unique spiritual standing. Within that framework, public humiliation is conceptually destructive because it attacks not only an individual mood, but the dignity necessary for covenantal fellowship.

Maharal

  • Source: Maharal, on human form, dignity, and the destructive force of ביזיון — disgrace
  • Maharal often explains that human dignity reflects the elevated form of the human being. Humiliation is therefore not merely emotional injury. It is a lowering of that form in the social world. Through that lens, הלבנת פנים becomes a profound distortion of the human station.

Ramban

  • Source: Ramban to Leviticus 19:17
  • On the conceptual plane, Ramban helps show that the Torah is regulating not only speech but moral energy. The same personality that corrects another can either serve truth or ego. The prohibition against shaming exists to keep rebuke aligned with covenantal responsibility rather than with inner aggression.

Abarbanel

  • Source: Abarbanel to Kedoshim
  • Abarbanel’s system-level contribution is that holiness requires disciplined forms of human encounter. A society in which people regularly expose, belittle, and humiliate one another cannot sustain Torah’s vision of ordered communal life. The issur therefore protects the very conditions under which kedushah can dwell.

Halacha

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Shulchan Aruch

  • Source: Orach Chaim and Choshen Mishpat through the practical laws of speech, rebuke, and אונאת דברים — verbal oppression
  • The halachic system consistently treats verbal injury as a real form of harm, not a lesser category beside physical or monetary damage. In practical terms, one may not correct, mock, reveal, or speak in a way that causes another person shame. The obligation is not merely to avoid extreme cruelty, but to guard dignity in ordinary interaction.

Rema

  • Source: Halachic tradition on interpersonal speech and public conduct
  • Rema’s contribution in this area is to preserve the seriousness of interpersonal injury within lived communal practice. What is culturally normal does not become halachically permitted. Public embarrassment remains prohibited even when dressed in humor, sharpness, or social convention.

Nosei Keilim

  • Source: Commentarial tradition on Hilchos De’os and laws of אונאת דברים
  • The practical takeaway sharpened by the halachic commentaries is that one must evaluate not only whether something is justified, but whether it will leave another person shamed. That is the operative discipline of this mitzvah: moral speech is measured not only by intent or factual truth, but by whether human dignity remains intact.

Acharonim & Modern Torah Giants

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Netziv

  • Source: HaEmek Davar to Kedoshim
  • Netziv expands the mitzvah into the fabric of communal life. A Torah community cannot be built merely on formal correctness if people fear degradation from one another. His contribution is structural: dignity is not decorative; it is necessary for a livable covenantal society.

Rav Shimshon Raphael Hirsch

  • Source: Hirsch to Leviticus 19:17
  • Hirsch explains that the Torah requires moral seriousness without cruelty. A person may not make another the object through which he displays superiority. His expansion is especially sharp here: humiliation is a betrayal of the very humanity the Torah seeks to elevate.

Malbim

  • Source: Malbim to Leviticus 19:17
  • Malbim’s careful distinctions clarify that rebuke and injury are not overlapping acts but opposing ones. The purpose of תוכחה is repair; the result of humiliation is breakdown. That contrast helps define the mitzvah with precision.

Rav Kook

  • Source: Writings on the inner worth of every Jew and the spiritual damage of contempt
  • Rav Kook’s broader framework sees every Jew as carrying inner holiness that must be addressed with reverence, even when correction is necessary. Public embarrassment is spiritually destructive because it relates to the outer failure while denying the deeper worth of the person.

Meshech Chochmah

  • Source: Meshech Chochmah to Kedoshim
  • Meshech Chochmah deepens the relationship between kedushah and human dignity. Holiness is not achieved by brute moral pressure. It requires forms of encounter that preserve the human bearer of the command itself. A mitzvah culture that shames constantly has already lost something essential.

Chassidic & Mussar Classics

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Baal Shem Tov

  • Source: Teachings on seeing the soul within another Jew
  • The Baal Shem Tov’s inner contribution is that humiliation comes from relating to another person only at the surface level of his weakness. When one learns to see the deeper נשמה — soul — within another Jew, the impulse to expose or degrade weakens. The mitzvah thus refines perception itself.

Tanya

  • Source: Tanya, chapter 32 and related teachings on אהבת ישראל and the primacy of the soul
  • Tanya explains that division and harshness intensify when bodily ego dominates, while genuine regard for others grows when the soul is primary. In that light, embarrassing another person is not only bad conduct. It is a sign that the self has become too central and the soul of the other too hidden from view.

Sfas Emes

  • Source: Sfas Emes on Kedoshim and the hidden dignity within the person
  • Sfas Emes presents holiness as the uncovering of inner worth rather than the exposure of outer failure alone. Public humiliation works in the opposite direction. It covers over the פנימיות — inner dimension — of the other person and traps the moment in external disgrace.

Ramchal

  • Source: Mesillas Yesharim, on נקיות — moral refinement — in speech and interpersonal conduct
  • Ramchal’s framework shows that a refined person does not merely avoid obvious cruelty. He becomes sensitive to the subtler ways ego seeks expression through words, correction, and social pressure. The inner work of this mitzvah is therefore not only restraint, but purification from the desire to dominate another person’s dignity.

Background & Foundations

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This mitzvah appears in Parashas Kedoshim, in the same verse that commands rebuke. That location is essential background. Torah does not present dignity as a separate value that applies only when nothing difficult needs to be said. It places the prohibition precisely where one might most easily justify shaming: in the moment of correction. That teaches the structure of the mitzvah. Even truth, even protest, even moral seriousness remain bounded by כבוד הבריות — human dignity. The prohibition also belongs to the broader Torah world of אונאת דברים — verbal injury — and to the interpersonal architecture of Kedoshim, where holiness depends upon disciplined human relation, not only ritual fidelity.

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Mitzvah Fundamentals

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The core middos and foundational principles expressed through this mitzvah.
Rebuke

Notes on this Mitzvah's Fundamentals

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Rebuke

Between a person and their fellow - בֵּין אָדָם לַחֲבֵרוֹ

This mitzvah stands clearly in the realm of בין אדם לחברו because it governs how one human being may hold another’s dignity. The Torah teaches that injury is not limited to physical harm or financial loss. Social and verbal humiliation are also serious forms of interpersonal wrongdoing.

Justice – צֶדֶק

There is a quiet צדק in this mitzvah because shame often distorts proportion. A person’s failure may be real, yet exposing him beyond what is just turns correction into excess. The mitzvah trains a person to respond to wrong without creating a new wrong in the process.

Compassion – רַחֲמִים

רחמים belongs here because avoiding embarrassment requires the ability to feel what another person can bear. A compassionate person does not measure speech only by what he wants to say, but by what the other person will endure when it is said.

Kindness - חֶסֶד

חסד appears here in disciplined form. At times the greatest kindness is not praise or generosity, but the refusal to make another person smaller for the sake of a point, a joke, or a victory in argument. The mitzvah trains that form of guarded goodness.

Community – קְהִלָּה

קהילה is protected by this mitzvah because no community can remain healthy when people fear public diminishment. Once humiliation becomes normal, trust erodes and openness disappears. Preserving dignity is therefore one of the hidden foundations of communal life.

Speech – דָּבָר

Speech is central because embarrassment is often delivered through words, tone, framing, or exposure. The mitzvah teaches that the mouth is not only a tool of communication. It is a כלי — vessel — that can either preserve human dignity or wound it deeply.

Rebuke – תּוֹכָחָה

This tag is especially relevant because the prohibition emerges in the very verse of rebuke. Torah thereby teaches that תוכחה is not measured only by whether truth was spoken, but by whether it was spoken without violating the dignity of the person being addressed.

Holiness – קְדֻשָּׁה

Its place in Kedoshim shows that קדושה includes how Jews handle each other when something difficult must be said. Holiness is not expressed through bluntness without boundary. It appears when truth and dignity remain joined.

Humility - עֲנָוָה

ענוה is strengthened by this mitzvah because humiliation often comes from ego — the desire to assert superiority, expose weakness, or control a scene. A more humble person has less need to make another human being feel small.

Between a person and G-d - בֵּין אָדָם לְמָקוֹם

Although this mitzvah governs human interaction, it is also deeply בין אדם למקום because the dignity being protected belongs to a person created by Hashem and standing before Him. One who humiliates another does not only sin against a fellow man; he violates a boundary set by Torah itself.

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